Finding Friends
Imagine the first day of something new. You step into a room filled with voices, laughter, and unfamiliar faces. Your heart races a little as a thought bubbles up — Will anyone notice me? Will anyone choose me? Will I find a friend here?
It doesn’t matter if you are four, ten, or forty-five — that quiet question hums in the background of every new beginning. All of us long to be seen, to be chosen, to belong. At the start of the year, our new beginning, this longing is present for every child whether they are brand new to Acton or returning and finding new experiences.
During the first week, one learner carried this longing so heavily that it made her feel sick. She worried that past experiences might repeat at Acton, that other learners might be unkind. After a little detective work, I discovered she didn’t need rest or medicine — she needed the assurance that she had friends.
So I connected her with her studio mentor. After bravely and vulnerably sharing her fear, she was met with empathy. Her mentor shared ”Oh, I totally get it. I’ve felt this way too! Can I give you a tip? [nodded yes] I’m your friend. When I was new at Acton, I really wanted friends, so I found one person who had more friends than me. Then, their friends became my friends. Now, I have so many awesome friends! I am your friend, and I can do the same for you.”
In that moment, her whole body seemed to exhale. Relief. Wonder. Hope. She wasn’t just reassured — she had been truly seen. She now had a pathway forward, a friend who would walk with her, and the courage to step more fully into this new community.
Later in the week, another learner shared just as vulnerably. On the very first day he had announced his goal for the session: to be popular. A few days later, after a tough game of tug-of-war, I found him sitting off to the side, shoulders heavy with discouragement.
“I think learners think I’m weak,” he shared. “I just really want them to know I’m strong. I want them to recognize me and pick me. I’m always worried I’ll get picked last and won’t have a partner.”
Again, his studio mentor became the bridge. After listening carefully, the mentor smiled and said, “I can help. You can join my group right now. And now that I know this is your top fear, I can make sure you’re part of my group.” Just like that, the heaviness lifted. His face lit up with ease and belonging. After ten minutes, he was laughing, he was connecting, I might say he was on the road to his goal of becoming popular. What he wanted most — to be chosen — was suddenly real.
These stories show why the very first Quest of the year is devoted to friendship. Before any great work can happen, your learner needs a foundation of belonging — a place to feel seen, chosen, and supported. Friendship takes courage and friendship is the invisible thread that makes the studio a safe and joyful place to learn.
Your learner is practicing the bravery of reaching out, sharing fears, and discovering the magic of being welcomed in. What might it look like for you to follow their lead? If you are returning, how might you be a bridge for a new family? If you are new, how might you take the courageous step of introducing yourself?
Everyone needs to find friends, no matter their age.
At Acton, everyone belongs and everyone is welcome.