The Freedom To Be
“At my last school, everyone judged me. Here no one is judgy.” One visiting learner quietly shared her story with me as she reflected on her day at Acton. She shared that she used to love unicorns. When she was younger, she wore unicorn pants to school until other children teased her that unicorns weren’t “cool.” She stopped wearing her unicorn pants because she wanted to fit in. I asked her if she still likes unicorns. She quietly answered, “Yes.”
I listened a little longer before sharing something I hope every learner comes to believe. “Here at Acton, we celebrate what lights you up. If you love unicorns, awesome! If one day you want green hair, to come to school with a feather boa, or polka dots from head to toe, we’ll celebrate that too because that is you being you.” Her eyes widened with wonder and a bit of disbelief, so I shared one of my favorite Acton stories, one that happens to be close to home.
A few years ago, my daughter discovered her love for theatre. For several days she arrived at school not as herself but as Fashiona––a lady of great sophistication who wore oversized sunglasses, a feather boa, tutu, a purse, and had enough dramatic flair to fill the entire studio. Fashiona attended school and even gave a tour to a prospective family. No one laughed at her, no one asked her to stop, no one told her to be someone else or knock it off. Learners simply accepted Fashiona as another wonderful part of our community.
As our country celebrates another Fourth of July I’ve found myself thinking about the meaning of freedom. Nearly 250 years ago people believed another way was possible. They believed freedom was worth pursuing even when the path was uncertain. In many ways, families who choose Acton make a similar decision. They choose a different path because they believe another kind of education is possible. Not simply one that teaches children what to think but one that gives them the freedom to become who they are.
Eleanor Roosevelt, not the well-known Spiderman, first expressed the idea that “with freedom comes responsibility.” I’ve come to believe that freedom doesn’t flourish simply because we declare it, it flourishes because we choose to protect it. One of the greatest ways I believe we protect freedom is through kindness.
Without kindness, freedom becomes judgement. Without kindness, differences become reasons to exclude. Without kindness, children leave the unicorn pants at home. At Acton, kindness isn’t simply about being polite. Kindness is the responsibility of listening before judging and respectfully disagreeing instead of tearing someone down. Making room for another person’s ideas, interests, and individuality. Kindness creates the conditions where freedom can flourish.
At Acton we work hard to create a place where every child feels safe to be fully themselves––tutus, boas, unicorns, disagreements, and all. Belonging at Acton looks different. Learners don’t belong because they dress alike, think alike, or act alike. They belong because they have made a promise to protect one another’s freedom to become fully themselves.
As you celebrate our country’s Independence Day this weekend I invite you to ask your learner, your partner, or a friend these questions––and perhaps answer them yourself.
When do you feel most free to be yourself?
Who has helped create that feeling for you?
How can you help create that same feeling for someone else?
Freedom is a gift. Kindness is what allows freedom to flourish.