Why We Gather

What is it about being in a room together? Not on a screen, not thinking about what’s next, not multi-tasking. But sitting across someone, sharing a meal, listening, laughing, and pausing long enough to really hear one another. There is something that happens when we gather.

This week, as we hosted our second Parent Lunch of the year, I was reminded of something we hold deeply at Acton Academy Oshkosh: community is not extra, it is essential. That may sound simple, but in a world where efficiency often wins and digital connection is easier, it’s worth asking: Why does gathering still matter?

Author Priya Parker writes that meaningful gatherings don’t happen by accident, they are shaped by purpose. When we are intentional about why we are coming together, the experience changes us. Parent Lunch isn’t about information, announcements, or even strategy. It’s about growth. As parents, we gather to reflect on our own Hero’s Journeys. We share what has stretched us, surprised us, we admit what didn’t go as planned, we celebrate what did, and we have lunch!

Recently, when I described this to a parent outside of Acton, he paused and said, “Wow…schools don’t do that. I’ve never heard of anything like this, that’s cool.” Maybe that’s because this isn’t just a meeting, it’s a reflection of who we are. We design these gatherings to be simple, memorable, and immediately applicable to your everyday life. Something you can walk out and use that afternoon, that connects you more deeply to your child because you are doing the work alongside them.

This lunch, we even added playful Parker inspired “gathering rules.”

The Juicy Rule = throw a juice (Capri Sun) to someone who shared an awesome “juicy” thought or vulnerability.

The Sweet Rule =give a cookie if you hear someone share a kind comment worthy of sweetness.

It may sound small but these gathering moments reinforce something important: courage and kindness are worth celebrating. That spirit doesn’t live only at Parent Lunch, it lives everywhere at Acton. It shows up when learners debate in Quest, give peer feedback, when they offer call-outs of character each week, when they revise work together instead of settling, when they lead, when they follow, when they apologize, and when they celebrate.

Yes, some academic work happens online. But the real work — the human work — happens in community. It happens in relationship, in shared struggle, in shared laughter. This is why a fully online model doesn’t work for us. Learning is not simply content acquisition, it is identity formation in community and it extends beyond the studio walls.

Over time, learners begin to understand that they are not simply participants in a school. They are contributors to a culture and their choices shape the environment around them. Community stops being something they attend — and becomes something they build. We saw this beautifully this week.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, our learner leaders planned their studio celebration from start to finish. No adult direction, just ownership, coordination, and care. They thought about what others needed, they divided responsibilities, and followed through. The pride on their faces didn’t come from what they received, it came from what they gave and their peers felt it.

Community is not something that happens to us, it is something we are responsible for. This is where Acton culture stretches all of us — learners and parents alike. Our children are learning that belonging requires contribution. That culture strengthens when each person brings something of value. That ownership feels better than entitlement. Perhaps they are modeling something for us.

As you LOVE your community, I invite you to consider these questions:

How am I contributing to the communities I belong to? Where am I taking ownership instead of waiting for someone else to lead? What kind of culture am I helping build in my home, in our school, in my relationships? Do I feel more full when I give or when I receive?

At Acton, community is not an accessory to learning. It is the soil where growth takes root. When we gather with intention — in a studio, at an Exhibition, at Parent Lunch, or around your own dinner table — we are practicing something bigger than connection. We are practicing ownership, contribution, and becoming.