You’re Welcome
Imagine this…you are far from home. You step into a room where the food is unfamiliar, the voices sound different than your own, and every place setting holds more utensils than you know what to do with. You wonder where to sit, how to begin, how to belong. Then someone meets you at the door with a warm smile, takes your coat, shows you the way, and suddenly—your shoulders soften. You’re welcome.
That feeling of being welcomed isn’t accidental. It is a skill, a practice, a muscle that the world’s best butlers and hosts train every day. And perhaps, as a parent, you are already practicing this art constantly — reminding your child to say please, to say thank you, to pause, to notice, to care for how others feel in a space. But perhaps, some days, you feel a bit like the Monster of Correctness as you point out the jam on their face for the hundredth time.
As a young girl, I had a Monster of Correctness, my grandmother. She reminded me how to hold my fork, how to sit tall, how to chew politely, how to walk like a lady pretty much every day. At the time, I truly believed her life’s mission was to keep my hair neatly pulled back with a headband and to ensure I never, ever stuffed my cheeks at the dinner table. I loved her deeply…and I dreaded her reminders. Years later, I see what she was really giving me. She wasn’t shaping perfection — she was shaping belonging. She was quietly preparing me to walk into any room with confidence, dignity, and ease. She was teaching me how to make others feel comfortable and how to feel at home myself.
That is the heart of our newest Quest, The Art of Etiquette. Unlike my grandmother’s steady stream of correction, learners experience this training the Acton way — through joy, imagination, and practice. This week, as Butlers-In-Training!
After many poise and posture practices–stretching and balancing a book on their heads–Acton Butlers were ready to serve imaginary drinks on shiny metal trays. This challenge was called “Protect Your Tray” borrowed from the great school of Butlers in the Netherlands. Half of the room maneuvered as Butlers while the other half played the part of guests sitting and meandering. Each round added difficulty: dodging people, avoiding obstacles, even navigating the surprise appearance of a dodgeball! If a tray dropped, the whole room froze in time–then resumed with grace. The best conversation I overheard? A serious discussion about the proper choice of caviar.
While spending moments with the Discovery Studio I noticed that many learners adopted British accents. I asked what happened to their voices and one learner shared “It’s hard not to be British when you’re trying to be fancy.” Then I asked if it was possible to still sound like them and be fancy. That question was perfectly perplexing. They experimented with voices, posture, and presence and it was fascinating how deeply their connection between words, body, and identity revealed itself.
This is the deeper purpose of The Art of Etiquette. Manners are not about rigid rules or forced politeness. They are about awareness, gratitude, service, and belonging. They are muscles learners build through daily practice — just like reading, writing, and problem-solving. When strengthened, these muscles allow a child to step into any space — a dinner table, a farm, a classroom, a stage, a royal ballroom, or a boardroom — and feel both confident in themselves and considerate of others.
At Acton, this is part of our commitment to civility. Not civility as performance, but civility as daily practice. The quiet courage to notice others. The discipline to move with care. The generosity to make space for someone new. These are the habits that shape strong communities and strong citizens.
You’re invited to continue this Quest at home. Play butler at dinner. Let one child host. Let another serve. Practice gratitude aloud. Write a simple handwritten thank you note together. These small, playful rituals grow into lifelong character.
No matter where your child goes in the world, our hope is that they will know how to enter any room with confidence and kindness and how to help others feel that same quiet welcome.
You are welcome.